I've been thinking a lot lately about how much my life is influenced by unfeeling algorithms and how my agency feels like its slowly drifting away. Its a constant tug of war between exercising my free will and letting a math equation dictate my next move. I don't think it was always like this, I don't think I'm necessarily losing either. But lately I want to lash out at the invisible ghost who caresses me from behind whispering in my ear, "Don't think too hard, look at this thing". If I want to go on a bike ride, I should. If I want to create a piece of art, I should If I want to listen to an album or watch a tv show, I should. Why should I waste hours a day staring at my phone looking at nothing particularly interesting that I won't be able to recall in 5 minutes. I don't want it to bookend my days. Furthermore, I don't want the things that I consciously decide to do, to secretly be decisions sourced purely on the algorithmic content that is fed to me. I hear people say, "I saw an instagram video where..." and I cringe inside. We can't even talk about THINGS anymore. We talk about what the algorithm is showing us. And the algorithm is just showing us whatever makes us scroll the longest. Well I don't want to be controlled and I refuse to comply.